May is for All Women and I have a Post Project for you this month to celebrate just that!
***Don't worry if you're just now learning about this.... You can jump on board at any time this month!!!***
Join me in a series of posts about, not just biological Mothers, but also of those women throughout our lives that have impacted us, helping shape us into who we have become and will become, all simply by being the beautiful embodiment of Motherly Support RIGHT when we need it most.
Here are the guidelines:
Thought inspiring quotes..... Oh how I love them.
They spark one simple thought and BAM!
All of a sudden you're reminded of moments, people, smells... and sometimes find yourself asking a few questions, inspiring more thought.. and BAM!
You realize there's nothing left to do but... Oh yes..
Blog about it. :)
So what are you waiting for??
Search for quotes, get inspired and get your BLOG on!
"May is for ALL Women" - Post 3
by Amanda* @ Modern Hippie Momma
Nothing can prepare a woman for all that takes place internally after having a baby.
This is something I knew to be true after having Abigail, but there are some things I expected to be at least slightly different after giving birth a second time.
I was so wrong.
Today... well, right now actually...
Is the first time I have officially left our infant, Carlin, who is now 3 months old, in the care of someone else. The longest I have gone is maybe 30 minutes and even then, I was taking a really long shower and Carlin was downstairs with his daddy and siblings.
There's a sort of natural, maternal, magnetic-like "pull" that takes place when I part from my infants that is beautifully primal, yet still painful.
It feels like it starts deep in my soul, from the bottom of my gut, goes up through my heart, makes a knot in my throat and feels like an imaginary rope between my body and my baby.
It's by pure nature that the body responds in this way, and even as beautiful as that is to me... and even as I fully understand the survival/nurturing instinct that is kicking in to cause all this....
Carlin is currently safe at his surrogate grandmothers, just waking from his nap, goo-ing and smiling at his bigger sister who he loves and is familiar with.
It is Mommy who is not handling it so gracefully.
After my husband made a comment today about yet another "event" (with the insinuation that he'd like to attend said event) coming up in Portland, I quietly cried over my omelet I was making myself for lunch, knowing that I... WE could not go on much longer in this way.
We embrace the concepts of Attachment Parenting fully, but we must be sure to remember ourselves as Husband & Wife in the process. Remembering this will help us be more successful at parenting.
It was then that I knew that we as a couple could not last 3 more months of little intimacy or any time alone together, enjoying things as a couple again without the presence of our children.
As much a I truly soak in and enjoy every moment caring for Carlin, it is also quite desirable to have an afternoon of walking in downtown Portland as we used to with the only concern being what MAX Train we want to take next.
Paul left the house to return to work and I decided to waste no time.
It was now or never, and it may as well be now, because apparently I need to go cold-turkey with this or it will simply never happen!
The primal pull was most painful when backing out of the driveway of our babysitter's house.
Driving back home, I sobbed like a baby, struggling to see through my tears and the heavy "February Rain" in the middle of May.
This is the process we go through as Mothers.
We join this club after giving birth.
It is the beginning of the growth we experience with being a new mommy.
It just didn't occur to me that, it doesn't matter how many children you have...
You go through it ALL over again with each one.
Or, I do anyways!
I've said it before a hundred times, and I'll say it again...
Being a parent is undoubtedly the most beautiful, amazing, terrifying, incredible, extraordinary, awesome, painful, wonderful thing a person could ever experience.
After 30 minutes of being away from my little man who has been attached to me like a parasite these past few months, I called and checked on him.
He was fine of course.
It has now been 46 minutes. :) .....and 53 seconds.
I think I'll go back to get him now.
Slowly, but surely, I'll get myself just a little closer to being able to be my husband's wife again, and not just the woman that keeps our son alive. ;)
For the record, my hubby Paul is incredibly supportive and in no way wants me to feel like I'm doing anything to him by prolonging our time before we can have a bit of "freedom". We went through a lot that hindered me from being able to do the things I do for Carlin, for Abigail, and it is just as important to Paul as it is to me that this time is different for the better of our baby.
I think that this Hippie Momma has officially arrived at the point where it is simply TIME.
Time to take time for me and for us.
As a matter of fact, before the day is over, I just may make that massage appointment that I have a gift card for.
Oh yes. It is SO time.
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