PreK to College ~ What Happened?!

Completely caught off guard, Abigail runs to me after Daddy brings her home from from vising her surrogate Grandmother and hands me a bright pink flier saying... 

"Mommy, please read this important special paper", folding her hands in front of her in the prim-n-proper little way that she does. 

It is an invite.... to her PreSchool Graduation Program.

Reading each line aloud, smiling yet crying more with each word... All I can think is,

How is this happening?! lol

She JUST STARTED PreK!

I was JUST sobbing uncontrollably in the hall as I watched her class get further and further away from me (after managing to hold it together until she couldn't see me anymore, of course) on her first day of school, clutching my wrist where we had drawn a smiley, peace sign and heart on ourselves so we could think of each other every time we looked at it on that momentous day.

It may have been nearly a year ago... but the days, hours, minutes.. where have they gone?? 

Somehow even in the midst of grasping on to each day as if it were the last, excitedly helping her with her once-a-week homework, watching her carefully (and eclectically) get her school clothes ready every night,  helping her choose something for 'Show & Tell' for every Thursday morning and eagerly asking her how her day went everyday when I picked her up.....

Somehow it all passed us right by, and now our baby girl who we brought home at just 4.5 pounds is graduating PreK and will be starting Kindergarten. :(

{....crying again....} 

All of these tiny milestones keep creeping up on us, and no matter what they are, they grasp my heart and instantly remind me that these precious times are just that; Precious.

I cry now for the woman in me that will one day be as I sit on the bleachers on the day of her High School Graduation crying at the years that passed us by... wishing I was only crying at her PreK Graduation Day again, rather than getting her packed for college. 

I cry now for the woman in her that she will one day be... Not because I don't want her to grow up, but because she must grow up. 

She must face this world as a Woman, Adult & Individual. 

And if we as parents {in general} are sure to remember exactly WHY we are living, working, breathing...

If we are sure to allow ourselves to FEEL and CRY in these times so that we are reminded to slow down and ENJOY our little ones during these precious years that we'll never get back ...

It is then that we can be sure to give them the quality kind of CARE, LOVE and ATTENTION that they need to one day face this world confidently, intentionally, thoughtfully and successfully.

These 5 years have gone by in a flash, and it is our promise to you, Abber-dabbers, that we'll be here for you at your every achievement/milestone, with smiles on our faces and with tears swelling in our eyes. 

Mommy & Daddy loves you baby... And we're so very proud of you. 

You're sweet, caring, creative, smart, loving, intuitive, polite and you love to learn. 

What more could we ever expect of you. <3

"May is For All Women" Project Post 3

May is for All Women and I have a Post Project for you this month to celebrate just that!

***Don't worry if you're just now learning about this.... You can jump on board at any time this month!!!***

Join me in a series of posts about, not just biological Mothers, but also of those women throughout our lives that have impacted us, helping shape us into who we have become and will become, all simply by being the beautiful embodiment of Motherly Support RIGHT when we need it most.

Here are the guidelines:

• Please become a follower of our blog Modern Hippie Momma and please 'like' our Facebook Page. Be sure to leave us a comment if you're participating so we can follow you back!! :) 

• Find a quote that inspires thought and reminds you of a particular moment in time with a woman in your life that you know has impacted you in some way... The way you live, think, deal with things/people/kids/LIFE in general, etc.

• Write a post about all that you are reminded of with that woman and a particular moment. 

• Repeat this at least once a week (more if you'd like) for the entire month of May. 

• GRAB THE OFFICIAL "May is for All Women" BUTTON ~ Post it proudly on your sidebar and especially at the bottom of your posts all month to help spread the word and get other's to join in!  Be sure to type a one liner just above it to encourage other's participation! 

• Don't forget to share it with us on our Facebook Page < HERE >!  We want to read your stories!!  

• If you can, share the story with the person who inspired you to write your post. I'm sure your lovely thoughts and reflections would be a beautiful and memorable gift to her. :) 

Thought inspiring quotes..... Oh how I love them. 

They spark one simple thought and BAM! 

All of a sudden you're reminded of moments, people, smells... and sometimes find yourself asking a few questions, inspiring more thought.. and BAM! 

You realize there's nothing left to do but... Oh yes.. 

Blog about it. :)

So what are you waiting for?? 

Search for quotes, get inspired and get your BLOG on!

"May is for ALL Women" - Post 3

     by Amanda* @ Modern Hippie Momma

Nothing can prepare a woman for all that takes place internally after having a baby. 

This is something I knew to be true after having Abigail, but there are some things I expected to be at least slightly different after giving birth a second time. 

I was so wrong. 

Today... well, right now actually... 

Is the first time I have officially left our infant, Carlin, who is now 3 months old, in the care of someone else. The longest I have gone is maybe 30 minutes and even then, I was taking a really long shower and Carlin was downstairs with his daddy and siblings. 

There's a sort of natural, maternal, magnetic-like "pull" that takes place when I part from my infants that is beautifully primal, yet still painful. 

It feels like it starts deep in my soul, from the bottom of my gut, goes up through my heart, makes a knot in my throat and feels like an imaginary rope between my body and my baby. 

It's by pure nature that the body responds in this way, and even as beautiful as that is to me... and even as I fully understand the survival/nurturing instinct that is kicking in to cause all this....

It hurts. 

Carlin is currently safe at his surrogate grandmothers, just waking from his nap, goo-ing and smiling at his bigger sister who he loves and is familiar with.

It is Mommy who is not handling it so gracefully.

After my husband made a comment today about yet another "event" (with the insinuation that he'd like to attend said event) coming up in Portland, I quietly cried over my omelet I was making myself for lunch, knowing that I... WE could not go on much longer in this way. 

We embrace the concepts of Attachment Parenting fully, but we must be sure to remember ourselves as Husband & Wife in the process. Remembering this will help us be more successful at parenting.

It was then that I knew that we as a couple could not last 3 more months of little intimacy or any time alone together, enjoying things as a couple again without the presence of our children.

As much a I truly soak in and enjoy every moment caring for Carlin, it is also quite desirable to have an afternoon of walking in downtown Portland as we used to with the only concern being what MAX Train we want to take next.

Paul left the house to return to work and I decided to waste no time.

It was now or never, and it may as well be now, because apparently I need to go cold-turkey with this or it will simply never happen!

The primal pull was most painful when backing out of the driveway of our babysitter's house. 

Driving back home, I sobbed like a baby, struggling to see through my tears and the heavy "February Rain" in the middle of May. 

This is the process we go through as Mothers. 

We join this club after giving birth.

It is the beginning of the growth we experience with being a new mommy. 

It just didn't occur to me that, it doesn't matter how many children you have...

You go through it ALL over again with each one.

Or, I do anyways! 

I've said it before a hundred times, and I'll say it again...

Being a parent is undoubtedly the most beautiful, amazing, terrifying, incredible, extraordinary, awesome, painful, wonderful thing a person could ever experience.

After 30 minutes of being away from my little man who has been attached to me like a parasite these past few months, I called and checked on him.

He was fine of course. 

It has now been 46 minutes. :) .....and 53 seconds.

I think I'll go back to get him now.

Slowly, but surely, I'll get myself just a little closer to being able to be my husband's wife again, and not just the woman that keeps our son alive. ;) 

For the record, my hubby Paul is incredibly supportive and in no way wants me to feel like I'm doing anything to him by prolonging our time before we can have a bit of "freedom". We went through a lot that hindered me from being able to do the things I do for Carlin, for Abigail, and it is just as important to Paul as it is to me that this time is different for the better of our baby.

I think that this Hippie Momma has officially arrived at the point where it is simply TIME. 

Time to take time for me and for us.

As a matter of fact, before the day is over, I just may make that massage appointment that I have a gift card for. 

Oh yes. It is SO time.

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My Hippie Thoughts on Attachment Parenting

It has been a couple of weeks now since I have learned what "style" of parenting I apparently practice... and after having some discussion, reading halfway into a book I borrowed and my own reflection on the topic as our family operates naturally in this way, I cannot hold back any longer and am finally ready to have a "bloggy" discussion on Attachment Parenting. 


Recently I came across a lovely fellow Hippie Momma's blog, (The Happy Hippie Homemaker) while searching for blogs to follow and the first two words that popped off the screen to me were Attachment Parenting, or AP for short.

Had no idea what it was. Never heard of it. But it sounded intriguing and I've been reading about it ever since!

Giving something a label is usually overrated to me and puts things into categories that can separate people, cultures, etc. And I have to admit that the first thought that came to mind after reading about it a little was.... "Isn't AP just Parenting, and shouldn't the alternative to Parenting be "Detachment Parenting"? But there's still just something about knowing that the way we naturally parent actually has a name and definition that gives me the warm and fuzzies. 

AP is more of a philosophy and less of a "style".  It is a lifestyle by instinct to those of us who usually practice baby wearing, breastfeeding, co-sleeping or bed sharing, choose natural foods and read labels, shop local, labor naturally and are all around Hippie Mommas (and daddies) at heart (none of that is criteria of course). 

We are are sensitive to our babies needs. We believe in their cries and respond to their cues, staying flexible and avoid schedules that are impractical for a baby. 

For example, since I began writing this post I have stopped to play, nurse, change a diaper, play some more, rock and even took a walk because the sun came out for a moment (Sure it was raining on us a little bit while we walked, but we take what we can get up here in Washington). 

We feed our babies when they give the signs of wanting to eat and we allow them to sleep when they feel like dozing off. When one parents in this way, parent and baby live in harmony within each other day to day, taking away many stresses or worries that they would have otherwise if they'd chosen to follow a rigid schedule. 

Here are the 8 basic principles of AP: 

1. Preparation for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting
2. Feed with Love and Respect
3. Respond with Sensitivity
4. Use Nurturing Touch
5. Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically and Emotionally
6. Provide Consistent Loving Care
7. Practice Positive Discipline
8. Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life

Studies have found that attachment-parented children grow up into more secure adults who handle the stresses of life, relationships and pressures of life better than children who were not attachment-parented. The studies have also shown that AP children usually have healthier relationships with both friends, acquaintances and lovers than the non-AP children.  

With AP, the baby can trust that their caregiver (the parent, guardian and even baby sitters) will comfort them when they need it, eliminating doubts or fears of the new world around them far before they ever have time to form. The AP child has a great respect for their parents, a bond that is based on trust and love, and generally aim to please their parents, being less likely to wanting to risk disappointing them. 

AP parents take any opportunity to turn a situation into a learning experience.  This holds true even with discipline.  

AP children are disciplined with what is called Positive Discipline (PD), focusing on helping the child learn and grow and on helping them handle their current situation. The opposite of this would be to respond to a situation in an angry (or violent) fashion, punishing them without teaching them anything in the process. 

Practicing PD means to have reasonable expectations of the child according to their age and to discipline the child in a loving, caring, encouraging and firm manner. 

There seems to be a confusion in modern society that when a baby cries, they are trying to manipulate their caregiver, and trying to somehow control their surroundings.

Before the age of 1, babies do not cognitively have such an ability to give them any sort of thought process, and it is psychologically impossible to spoil them. That is a fact!  When a baby cries, they simple need comfort and care. It is their primal way of requesting care in order for them to survive. 

All of their "wants" are actually also their vital needs during the early stages of life, and they cannot even comprehend they are a separate being from their mothers for months after birth. Because of that... baby wearing, bed sharing and breast feeding all contribute to their security, which gives way to a more secure and independent toddler, adolescent and adult. 

So often you hear of "baby training" where the parent is trying to teach their newborn to be more independent and sleep through the night right after birth, when really... a baby needs the opposite of that. 

The reason a baby wakes up every 2 to 2.5 hours at night is all a part of that primal request of "PLEASE TAKE CARE OF ME! PLEASE TEND TO ME! PLEASE HELP ME!". 

Babies need to eat every few hours for several months after birth and should NOT go more than 4 hours between feedings, as recommended by midwives, doctors, nurses, studies, etc. Baby is simply reminding you of this when he wakes in the middle of the night. 

Babies should also not sleep with a wet diaper all night long. Baby is asking for a clean, dry one when he wakes you up at night. 

Obviously AP evolves over the years as the child gets older when bed sharing ends, breastfeeding is in the past and the parents are still in tuned with their child; all of their needs, body language, etc. 

To Attachment Parent is to be bonded with your child closer than you could ever imagine. Read about it... Learn more about it....

I recommend a book ....  The Attachment Parenting Book: A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby.  It has validated so much for me and I wasn't ever really looking for any validation. 


Disclaimer: This post is simply that of my own "Hippie Thoughts", is reflective of how I personally feel and is in no way meant to be demeaning those who do not parent in this way.  I just feel that maybe if we, as parents, simply surrender to parenthood and NOT parent at a distance, letting go of rigid schedules, ignoring any outside pressure of what we "should" be doing for our baby/child and just follow our own natural instincts, enjoying our children and nurturing them as they need us to, when they need us to... We could raise more secure adults who have something to contribute to society. After all, our children are our future. 


Sure, Attachment Parenting is a "label", but I will accept it.  It is a good set of guidelines, so to speak, and the very topic could awaken new parents who may be unsure of their self to a truly beautiful world of parenting. 

<3 MHM

Happy Mothers, Breastfed Babies

Yesterday I visited our local La Leche League just to check it out and meet other mothers who are as passionate about breastfeeding as I am. 

As I was warmly welcomed by a mother who was unpacking the library of books for the group while her 2 year old ran circles in the room blabbing a song only he could understand, and as her 4 year old sat quietly at a table coloring, I found a chair, set down my things and asked if one has to be having difficulty with breastfeeding in order to attend. 

"Definitely not" was her response with a smile on her face as she lovingly tried to wrangle the crumbling graham crackers from her toddler's hands. 

Only 5 other women and myself attended, and as they entered the room one by one with their children, ranging from 6 months, 2 and probably 5 or 6, the room was soon filled with the sounds only a room full of toddlers could make. 

And so the meeting began. After introductions, the mother who greeted me lead discussion, with the day's particular topic being "Overcoming/Preventing Difficulties". 

I've always been a people watcher, and it is not to judge them in the least. To the contrary, it is really because I genuinely appreciate people... What they're made of as far as personality, their body language, their smiles, their eyes... Especially their eyes. So much can be seen within the eyes. They are truly the gateway to what is underneath. 

I was immediately comfortable in that group. Of course I expected to be, but you just never know.. well, the unknown, until you've put yourself out there and try it out. 

Discussion was organic and continued seamlessly among the battle cries of the toddlers among us. 

Mothers are such amazing beings. It is a beautiful truth that, once you're a mother, you're a mother to all children. It was interesting to notice how we all, at one point or another, had our eye on the children (whether they were our own or not) and occasionally would instinctually "mother" (Yes, it is a verb too!) the closest to us, all while being fully engaged in discussion that was filled with personal experiences, advice based on those experiences, and of course, affirmations. 

You can always count on affirmations among women. Well, most women. It is only among those who are comfortable within their own skin, do not pass judgement and are open and receptive to other women. It's unfortunate that some are not. They're missing out on connections that could help them grow in unfathomable ways. 

After discussion and toward the end of the meeting, all of us had breastfed at one point or another, with children being breastfed from the ages of 6 months to the age of 2. Seeing toddlers being breastfed reminded me of "Attachment Parenting". This is something I recently read about on a fellow hippie momma's blog, realizing that, although I probably will not breastfeed into toddlerhood (just a personal choice), I have always practiced Attachment Parenting! It's actually the most natural way to parent, essentially following instincts rather than "popular" or societal expectations. Who knew it had a label though! I'm not big on labels, but was pleased to learn more of this AP, and was more pleased to find a book in the LLL library. 

Before we changed diapers and headed out, the leader then mentioned the need for volunteers.... UH OH. LOL 

I mentioned to my husband a few weeks back that I planned on attending this group at some point, and he said in so many words, that as long as I don't end up planning rallies every weekend, then all should be fine. 

What he means is... I tend to gravitate toward organizing things. I'm good at it. I love it. And it is just natural for me. 

It was a good point for him to make, because one thing we're focusing on for right now is being home and NOT planning/leading anything, mainly because for an entire year and a half, we helped lead in several ways within and behind the scenes of the Occupy Movement, taking a lot of time and energy and passion. A lot. 

So, it was good to have his voice in the back of my head when my "OOoo!! Ooo!! I'll help with publicity, coordinating events, social media, and.. and..!!" urge came on at the first mention of them needing help to grow and get their name out there. 

Not being able to completely pass it up, and after brainstorming a bit on some ideas, I did offer my help but mentioned how my 'man hours' must remain low for the time being, receiving chuckles after I shared the reasons why. 

Groups like this are very important. This pregnancy and baby (as far as breastfeeding, mothering, etc) has been a piece of cake (knock on wood) with really no difficulties or feats to overcome. But I say that humbly. 

With my daughter, postpartum and breastfeeding hell were demons on my shoulders leaving me feeling like a failure, and with hardly a support system or confidence in myself at the time, it honestly scared me to reach out. I know for a fact that if someone would have reached out to me and gotten me to attend just 1 meeting, my life and world probably would have been a whole lot different from that point on. 

Women need women. Mothers need mothers. 

After what we go through for 9 months and then the birth of our child, no matter how we birth... We're all sisters in a sense. We must reach out to one another. 

La Leche League is full of angels who do just that. This is something I could get used to. :) 

I'm glad I went. Looking forward to where this takes me. (SLOWLY, of course.) teehee

<3 MHM