Growing Up Nipper: Being a Mommy

Completely caught off guard, Abigail runs to me after Daddy brings her home from from vising her surrogate Grandmother and hands me a bright pink flier saying...

"Mommy, please read this important special paper", folding her hands in front of her in the prim-n-proper little way that she does.

It is an invite.... to her PreSchool Graduation Program.

Reading each line aloud, smiling yet crying more with each word... All I can think is,

How is this happening?! lol

She JUST STARTED PreK!

I was JUST sobbing uncontrollably in the hall as I watched her class get further and further away from me (after managing to hold it together until she couldn't see me anymore, of course) on her first day of school, clutching my wrist where we had drawn a smiley, peace sign and heart on ourselves so we could think of each other every time we looked at it on that momentous day.

It may have been nearly a year ago... but the days, hours, minutes.. where have they gone??

Somehow even in the midst of grasping on to each day as if it were the last, excitedly helping her with her once-a-week homework, watching her carefully (and eclectically) get her school clothes ready every night, helping her choose something for 'Show & Tell' for every Thursday morning and eagerly asking her how her day went everyday when I picked her up.....

Somehow it all passed us right by, and now our baby girl who we brought home at just 4.5 pounds is graduating PreK and will be starting Kindergarten. :(

{....crying again....}

All of these tiny milestones keep creeping up on us, and no matter what they are, they grasp my heart and instantly remind me that these precious times are just that; Precious.

I cry now for the woman in me that will one day be as I sit on the bleachers on the day of her High School Graduation crying at the years that passed us by... wishing I was only crying at her PreK Graduation Day again, rather than getting her packed for college.

I cry now for the woman in her that she will one day be... Not because I don't want her to grow up, but because she must grow up.

She must face this world as a Woman, Adult & Individual.

And if we as parents {in general} are sure to remember exactly WHY we are living, working, breathing...

If we are sure to allow ourselves to FEEL and CRY in these times so that we are reminded to slow down and ENJOY our little ones during these precious years that we'll never get back ...

It is then that we can be sure to give them the quality kind of CARE, LOVE and ATTENTION that they need to one day face this world confidently, intentionally, thoughtfully and successfully.

These 5 years have gone by in a flash, and it is our promise to you, Abber-dabbers, that we'll be here for you at your every achievement/milestone, with smiles on our faces and with tears swelling in our eyes.

Mommy & Daddy loves you baby... And we're so very proud of you.

You're sweet, caring, creative, smart, loving, intuitive, polite and you love to learn.

What more could we ever expect of you. <3

May is for All Women and I have a Post Project for you this month to celebrate just that!

***Don't worry if you're just now learning about this.... You can jump on board at any time this month!!!***

Join me in a series of posts about, not just biological Mothers, but also of those women throughout our lives that have impacted us, helping shape us into who we have become and will become, all simply by being the beautiful embodiment of Motherly Support RIGHT when we need it most.

Here are the guidelines:

Please become a follower of our blog Modern Hippie Momma and please 'like' our Facebook Page. Be sure to leave us a comment if you're participating so we can follow you back!! :)

Find a quote that inspires thought and reminds you of a particular moment in time with a woman in your life that you know has impacted you in some way... The way you live, think, deal with things/people/kids/LIFE in general, etc.

Write a post about all that you are reminded of with that woman and a particular moment.

Repeat this at least once a week (more if you'd like) for the entire month of May.

GRAB THE OFFICIAL "May is for All Women" BUTTON ~ Post it proudly on your sidebar and especially at the bottom of your posts all month to help spread the word and get other's to join in! Be sure to type a one liner just above it to encourage other's participation!

Don't forget to share it with us on our Facebook Page < HERE >! We want to read your stories!!

If you can, share the story with the person who inspired you to write your post. I'm sure your lovely thoughts and reflections would be a beautiful and memorable gift to her. :)

Thought inspiring quotes..... Oh how I love them.

They spark one simple thought and BAM!

All of a sudden you're reminded of moments, people, smells... and sometimes find yourself asking a few questions, inspiring more thought.. and BAM!

You realize there's nothing left to do but... Oh yes..

Blog about it. :)

So what are you waiting for??

Search for quotes, get inspired and get your BLOG on!

"May is for ALL Women" - Post 3

by Amanda* @ Modern Hippie Momma

Nothing can prepare a woman for all that takes place internally after having a baby.

This is something I knew to be true after having Abigail, but there are some things I expected to be at least slightly different after giving birth a second time.

I was so wrong.

Today... well, right now actually...

Is the first time I have officially left our infant, Carlin, who is now 3 months old, in the care of someone else. The longest I have gone is maybe 30 minutes and even then, I was taking a really long shower and Carlin was downstairs with his daddy and siblings.

There's a sort of natural, maternal, magnetic-like "pull" that takes place when I part from my infants that is beautifully primal, yet still painful.

It feels like it starts deep in my soul, from the bottom of my gut, goes up through my heart, makes a knot in my throat and feels like an imaginary rope between my body and my baby.

It's by pure nature that the body responds in this way, and even as beautiful as that is to me... and even as I fully understand the survival/nurturing instinct that is kicking in to cause all this....

It hurts.

Carlin is currently safe at his surrogate grandmothers, just waking from his nap, goo-ing and smiling at his bigger sister who he loves and is familiar with.

It is Mommy who is not handling it so gracefully.

After my husband made a comment today about yet another "event" (with the insinuation that he'd like to attend said event) coming up in Portland, I quietly cried over my omelet I was making myself for lunch, knowing that I... WE could not go on much longer in this way.

We embrace the concepts of Attachment Parenting fully, but we must be sure to remember ourselves as Husband & Wife in the process. Remembering this will help us be more successful at parenting.

It was then that I knew that we as a couple could not last 3 more months of little intimacy or any time alone together, enjoying things as a couple again without the presence of our children.

As much a I truly soak in and enjoy every moment caring for Carlin, it is also quite desirable to have an afternoon of walking in downtown Portland as we used to with the only concern being what MAX Train we want to take next.

Paul left the house to return to work and I decided to waste no time.

It was now or never, and it may as well be now, because apparently I need to go cold-turkey with this or it will simply never happen!

The primal pull was most painful when backing out of the driveway of our babysitter's house.

Driving back home, I sobbed like a baby, struggling to see through my tears and the heavy "February Rain" in the middle of May.

This is the process we go through as Mothers.

We join this club after giving birth.

It is the beginning of the growth we experience with being a new mommy.

It just didn't occur to me that, it doesn't matter how many children you have...

You go through it ALL over again with each one.

Or, I do anyways!

I've said it before a hundred times, and I'll say it again...

Being a parent is undoubtedly the most beautiful, amazing, terrifying, incredible, extraordinary, awesome, painful, wonderful thing a person could ever experience.

After 30 minutes of being away from my little man who has been attached to me like a parasite these past few months, I called and checked on him.

He was fine of course.

It has now been 46 minutes. :) .....and 53 seconds.

I think I'll go back to get him now.

Slowly, but surely, I'll get myself just a little closer to being able to be my husband's wife again, and not just the woman that keeps our son alive. ;)

For the record, my hubby Paul is incredibly supportive and in no way wants me to feel like I'm doing anything to him by prolonging our time before we can have a bit of "freedom". We went through a lot that hindered me from being able to do the things I do for Carlin, for Abigail, and it is just as important to Paul as it is to me that this time is different for the better of our baby.

I think that this Hippie Momma has officially arrived at the point where it is simply TIME.

Time to take time for me and for us.

As a matter of fact, before the day is over, I just may make that massage appointment that I have a gift card for.

Oh yes. It is SO time.